Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
