I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
