she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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