..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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