speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
