Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
