Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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