Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
