I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
