I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We had sex on a dog bed..
These tits shall not be calmed
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