You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize