hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
