There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
