Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
