i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
