so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
