i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
