I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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