he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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