The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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