so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
