My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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