nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
