Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
