i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
