well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
