she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
