No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
