My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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