You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I deserve this hangover.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
