it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
