When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
