so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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