Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize