I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
