bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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