She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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