why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
