Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
