if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
