Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
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I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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