he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
