Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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