I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
