"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
