at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.