Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.