What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
