I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.