if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
