so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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