either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
nutella sex= disaster
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
