shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
