Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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