Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
