I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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