i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
