I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
do nipples grow back?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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