Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
