How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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