hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
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and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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