the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
its liver damage thursday
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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