i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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