i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
