they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
