I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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