butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
